It depends on the situation. If the both of you decide to get married and you want kids of your own- he may not want anymore. I’m assuming he is paying child support and possibly alimony. This could be stressful on the both of you financially.
for starter how long have they been divorce? next how often do he spend time with his kids. 3 kids and recent divorce is something is not good for you to jump head over heel for. you really don’t know how bitter their divorce. you know women can be very vindicated and will cause trouble when her kids is around another woman. not much because he is seeing some one new, just because of the kids.
I’m not going to tell you either way what to do b/c in the end it’s up to you.I will tell you to keep in mind that 3 of someone else’s kids is a big responsibility.You have to know that as their father he will need to always put them first.If you wanted a quiet weekend and it’s his weekend with them then you’ll have to find a way to include them.Also take into consideration the kids mom.As the mom,she’ll need to be comfortable with you around her babies.The final thing is he should have a decent relationship with his kids mom and if you can’t handle that either then none of it will work.I’m not being negative but real.I hope you can take on all of it or you won’t be able to take on any of it.It’s a huge commitment in the end.God bless.
It can be very trying to be the stepmom, especially when they’re teenagers, plus the outgo for the upkeep for the children can be enormous. Would you want to have a fourth child with this man who’s already supporting three others? And if something happens and you divorce him, how is he going to pay for four? And if you give it a lot of thought, you should realize that the mother of these kids did not take the divorce lightly but had to have had a very good reason to put herself in such a fix for the next 10 plus years.
as a single dad of 1 while im protective of him and a Mr mom do keep in mind that soon after it goes Very far Your going to be the one that most of the child care will fall to when there over.
before 9- 10 they really don’t even have boundary set yet and they will be a Hand full. unless you REAL want kids don’t even go down that road. [ i wil not date with to much baggage , Common practice also ]
Why not, if everything about the guy was great? Once we reach a certain age, dating a person with kids becomes more and more likely.
I do not believe that the kids should be introduced to the person their parent is dating unless that relationship is well on its way to becoming permanent. It’s really unfair to bring boyfriends or girlfriends in and out of the children’s’ lives; letting the kids bond with someone who may not be there in a week or two gives them the idea that people are disposable, and that is very bad for their developing sense of security.
I wouldn’t mind at all, I love kids
I’m 14, but still I love them! haha, I’m not thinking about dating just yet though.
I don’t think it’d be a big deal if you date a single dad, I mean, I think it’d pretty cool. Because he’s being a good father, their mother on the other hand.. eh.
I wouldn’t mind, mainly because I want kids in my future and kids are definitely fun to be around. But it might be sort of hard to go on dates if the kids have to tag along.
I would be careful there is a reason he is no longer with the mother and children. I’m not saying he is bad it could have been more her than him but I always say there are two sides to story and it takes both to get divorced. I have never seen a divorce that was all one sided. so my suggestion is see how he treats the kids watch how they act around him do they run play and have fun or are they scared of him do they act distant. watch closely kids don’t take sides unless there is a reason. does he interact with them when he has them or are they just there. all these things are good to watch.
My dad was considered and still is one of the most wonderful people out there everyone that meets him thinks he is such a great guy they think my mom is the worst person alive because she divorced him after 27 years of marriage there was still 4 kids at home and so on how could she do this to him he is so wonderful and why has she turned all 10 kids against him yes they had 9 children of their own and adopted 3 but only 1 of the 3 stay in touch any how they say we are all so horrible for turning against him and taking moms side the thing that out sides don’t see is he was abusive not just verbal but physical he broke my moms arm twice once by hitting her with the car because he was mad at her and once by throwing her down 16 stairs same thing mad. we always had bruises and bloody lips he would pull our hair so hard we lifted off the ground and had a bubble on our head for a week it would actually suck the skin off our head it sounded sick and hurt like heck. any how enough of that what I’m trying to say is if the kids take moms side and are scared of dad I would be careful but if they love dad and want to be with him this is a good sign because outsiders can never see what is going on inside the home. Me myself I was divorced and to tell you the truth even though I don’t want to admit it. I was in the wrong as was he. He is a great guy but things just happened that split us up we were young in our 20′s and it just did not work but I trust him with our son and they get along great so it just depends on the kids in my mind. also there are things like child support and being a step mom you have to think about I have my ex kids over all the time probaably more than my son goes to thier house I have no problem with it they are great kids and I really do love them almost as much as my own two boys but I also grew up in a home with lots and lots of siblings so I’m used to always having kids around as I was the oldest
ive dated a guy with 2kids in the same sort of circumstances and i also hav a daughter myself so yeh.. and it was great but u hav 2 love kids and be ok with the fact no matter wut u will always come second in his life. and get used 2 bein around his ex all the time….
sure, if i like him i’d give it a shot, why not??
he’s no different just because he has three kids, in fact he is probably more mature and caring than lots of single men.
You have not said if you are single, but I am presuming that you are and I would suggest that unfortunately for you that you should really think about dating this guy.
I am not saying that you are going to marry this guy, but you have a long life ahead of you with his children growing up etc. and there will be on going events and remember that he has an ex-wife and although I am not saying that all ex-wives are evil, there will at some point be conflicts because that is why they are not together.
I actually have 3 children myself and I am divorced and I am seeing a guy who has two children and believe me it is really really hard and only a small percentage of relationships will last where there are children involved that aren’t your own.
Maybe you should stay away and look for a lovely single relationship which you can build together without any third parties involved. Good luck and lol.
i would say it would depend on certain factors, #1 how much you are interested in the guy and #2 how do his kids feel about you, if they are really resentful and maybe don’t seem ready for it, i would proceed with caution don’t get in to deep to fast… i don’t think having children should be a deal breaker but i would have some restraint when it comes to the depth of the relationship… you don’t want to get attached to the kids and vice versa and then break up and leave the kids feeling hurt and at fault because you are gone just like their mommy… Either way you should do what you feel not what other people say you should, its your life so do what makes you happy.
Well, aside from the “all under 10″ part, that was my husband when we first started dating. I have a kid with someone else too, so it would be pretty absurd of me to hold it against him.
Yeah i still would because… if you like him then things like that shouldnt really matter in my opinion like i would give him the chance to get to no him and if its off the same mom then thats a good thing right? instead of off different moms. I would say i would give this guy ago. But he might try and start getting full custody over the children which could lead to you getting stressed or something.. I don’t no really it would be entierly up to you.. but alot of people start dating when they have kids from previours realtionships and many of them have worked out good luck though xxx
How old are you? Because if you are a young woman, I would say think twice, you patience will be tested and it will be difficult under the best circumstances. If you are a bit older, or very mature, I guess it would depend on how much you like this person. Remember he is invested emotionally and financially with the children (if hes a good father), and that means you may have to settle for second quite a bit of the time.
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